pgw.uneasymoney-第36部分

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ility　to　handle　difficult　situations　which　a　man；　if　he　is　lucky；　manages　to　achieve　somewhere　in　the　later　seventies。　Except　for　a　pallor　strange　to　her　face　and　a　drawn　look　about　her　eyes；　there　was　nothing　to　show　that　all　was　not　for　the　best　with　Elizabeth　in　a　best　of　all　possible　worlds。　If　she　did　not　look　jaunty；　she　at　least　looked　posed。　She　greeted　Bill　with　a　smile。
　'I　didn't　wake　you。　I　thought　I　would　let　you　sleep　on。'
　The　words　had　the　effect　of　lending　an　additional　clarity　and　firmness　of　outline　to　the　picture　of　himself　which　Bill　had　already　drawn　in　his　mindof　a　soulless　creature　sunk　in　hoggish　slumber。
　'We've　had　breakfast。　Nutty　has　gone　for　a　walk。　Isn't　he　wonderful　nowadays？　I've　kept　your　breakfast　warm　for　you。'
　Bill　protested。　He　might　be　capable　of　sleep；　but　he　was　not　going　to　sink　to　food。
　'Not　for　me；　thanks；'　he　said；　hollowly。
　'e　along。'
　'Honestly'
　'e　along。'
　He　followed　her　meekly。　How　grimly　practical　women　were！　They　let　nothing　interfere　with　the　essentials　of　life。　It　seemed　all　wrong。　Nevertheless；　he　breakfasted　well　and　gratefully；　Elizabeth　watching　him　in　silence　across　the　table。
　'Finished？'
　'Yes；　thanks。'
　She　hesitated　for　a　moment。
　'Well；　Bill；　I've　slept　on　it。　Things　are　in　rather　a　muddle；　aren't　they？　I　think　I　had　better　begin　by　explaining　what　led　up　to　those　words　you　heard　Nutty　say　last　night。　Won't　you　smoke？'
　'No；　thanks。'
　'You'll　feel　better　if　you　do。'
　'I　couldn't。'
　A　bee　had　flown　in　through　the　open　window。　She　followed　it　with　her　eye　as　it　blundered　about　the　room。　It　flew　out　again　into　the　sunshine。　She　turned　to　Bill　again。
　'They　were　supposed　to　be　words　of　consolation；'　she　said。
　Bill　said　nothing。
　'Nutty；　you　see；　has　his　own　peculiar　way　of　looking　at　things；　and　it　didn't　occur　to　him　that　I　might　have　promised　to　marry　you　because　I　loved　you。　He　took　it　for　granted　that　I　had　done　it　to　save　the　Boyd　home。　He　has　been　very　anxious　from　the　first　that　I　should　marry　you。　I　think　that　that　must　have　been　why　he　asked　you　down　here。　He　found　out　in　New　York；　you　know；　who　you　were。　Someone　you　met　at　supper　recognized　you；　and　told　Nutty。　So；　as　far　as　that　is　concerned；　the　girl　you　were　speaking　to　at　the　gate　last　night　was　right。'
　He　started。　'You　heard　her？'
　'I　couldn't　help　it。　She　meant　me　to　hear。　She　was　raising　her　voice　quite　unnecessarily　if　she　did　not　mean　to　include　me　in　the　conversation。　I　had　gone　in　to　find　Nutty；　and　he　was　out；　and　I　was　ing　back　to　you。　That's　how　I　was　there。　You　didn't　see　me　because　your　back　was　turned。　She　saw　me。'
　Bill　met　her　eyes。　'You　don't　ask　who　she　was？'
　'It　doesn't　matter　who　she　was。　It's　what　she　said　that　matters。　She　said　that　we　knew　you　were　Lord　Dawlish。'
　'Did　you　know？'
　'Nutty　told　me　two　or　three　days　ago。'　Her　voice　shook　and　a　flush　came　into　her　face。　'You　probably　won't　believe　it；　but　the　news　made　absolutely　no　difference　to　me　one　way　or　the　other。　I　had　always　imagined　Lord　Dawlish　as　a　treacherous；　adventurer　sort　of　man；　because　I　couldn't　see　how　a　man　who　was　not　like　that　could　have　persuaded　Uncle　Ira　to　leave　him　his　money。　But　after　knowing　you　even　for　this　short　time；　I　knew　you　were　quite　the　opposite　of　that；　and　I　remembered　that　the　first　thing　you　had　done　on　ing　into　the　money　had　been　to　offer　me　half；　so　the　information　that　you　were　the　Lord　Dawlish　whom　I　had　been　hating　did　not　affect　me。　And　the　fact　that　you　were　rich　and　I　was　poor　did　not　affect　me　either。　I　loved　you；　and　that　was　all　I　cared　about。　If　all　this　had　not　happened　everything　would　have　been　all　right。　But；　you　see；　nine…tenths　of　what　that　girl　said　to　you　was　so　perfectly　true　that　it　is　humanly　impossible　for　you　not　to　believe　the　other　tenth；　which　wasn't。　And　then；　to　clinch　it；　you　hear　Nutty　consoling　me。　That　brings　me　back　to　Nutty。'
　'I'
　'Let　me　tell　you　about　Nutty　first。　I　said　that　he　had　always　been　anxious　that　I　should　marry　you。　Something　happened　last　night　to　increase　his　anxiety。　I　have　often　wondered　how　he　managed　to　get　enough　money　to　enable　him　to　spend　three　days　in　New　York；　and　last　night　he　told　me。　He　came　in　just　after　I　had　got　back　to　the　house　after　leaving　you　and　that　girl；　and　he　was　very　scared。　It　seems　that　when　the　letter　from　the　London　lawyer　came　telling　him　that　he　had　been　left　a　hundred　dollars；　he　got　the　idea　of　raising　money　on　the　strength　of　it。　You　know　Nutty　by　this　time；　so　you　won't　be　surprised　at　the　way　he　went　about　it。　He　borrowed　a　hundred　dollars　from　the　man　at　the　chemist's　on　the　security　of　that　letter；　and　thenI　suppose　it　seemed　so　easy　that　it　struck　him　as　a　pity　to　let　the　opportunity　sliphe　did　the　same　thing　with　four　other　tradesmen。　Nutty's　so　odd　that　I　don't　know　even　now　whether　it　ever　occurred　to　him　that　he　was　obtaining　money　under　false　pretences；　but　the　poor　tradesmen　hadn't　any　doubt　about　it　at　all。　They　pared　notes　and　found　what　had　happened；　and　last　night；　while　we　were　in　the　woods；　one　of　them　came　here　and　called　Nutty　a　good　many　names　and　threatened　him　with　imprisonment。
　'You　can　imagine　how　delighted　Nutty　was　when　I　came　in　and　told　him　that　I　was　engaged　to　you。　In　his　curious　way；　he　took　it　for　granted　that　I　had　heard　about　his　financial　operations；　and　was　doing　it　entirely　for　his　sake；　to　get　him　out　of　his　fix。　And　while　I　was　trying　to　put　him　right　on　that　point　he　began　to　console　me。　You　see；　Nutty　looks　on　you　as　the　enemy　of　the　family；　and　it　didn't　strike　him　that　it　was　possible　that　I　didn't　look　on　you　in　that　light　too。　So；　after　being　delighted　for　a　while；　he　very　sweetly　thought　that　he　ought　to　cheer　me　up　and　point　out　some　of　the　pensations　of　marriage　with　you。　AndWell；　that　was　what　you　heard。　There　you　have　the　full　explanation。　You　can't　possibly　believe　it。'
　She　broke　off　and　began　to　drum　her　fingers　on　the　table。　And　as　she　did　so　there　came　to　Bill　a　sudden　relief　from　all　the　doubts　and　black　thoughts　that　had　tortured　him。　Elizabeth　was　straight。　Whatever　appearances　might　seem　to　suggest；　nothing　could　convince　him　that　she　was　playing　an　underhand　game。　It　was　as　if　something　evil　had　gone　out　of　him。　He　felt　lighter；　cleaner。　He　could　breathe。
　'I　do　believe　it；'　he　said。　'I　believe　every　word　you　say。'
　She　shook　her　head。
　'You　can't　in　the　face　of　the　evidence。'
　'I　believe　it。'
　'No。　You　may　persuade　yourself　for　the　moment　that　you　do；　but　after　a　while　you　will　have　to　go　by　the　evidence。　You　won't　be　able　to　help　yourself。　You　haven't　realized　what　a　crushing　thing　evidence　is。　You　have　to　go　by　it　against　your　will。　You　see；　evidence　is　the　only　guide。　You　don't　know　that　I　am　speaking　the　truth；　you　just　feel　it。　You're　trusting　your　heart　and　not　your　head。　The　head　must　win　in　the　end。　You　might　go　on　believing　for　a　time；　but　sooner　or　later　you　would　be　bound　to　begin　to　doubt　and　worry　and　torment　yourself。　You　couldn't　fight　against　the　evidence；　when　once　your　instinctor　whatever　it　is　that　tells　you　that　I　am　speaking　the　truthhad　begun　to　weaken。　And　it　would　weaken。　Think　what　it　would　have　to　be　fighting　all　the　time。　Think　of　the　case　your　intelligence　would　be　making　out；　day　after　day；　till　it　crushed　you。　It's　impossible　that　you　could　keep　yourself　from　docketing　the　evidence　and　arranging　it　and　absorbing　it。　Think！　Consider　what　you　know　are　actual　facts！　Nutty　invites　you　down　here；　knowing　that　you　are　Lord　Dawlish。　All　you　know　about　my　attitude　towards　Lord　Dawlish　is　what　I　told　you　on　the　first　morning　of　your　visit。　I　told　you　I　hated　him。　Yet；　knowing　you　are　Lord　Dawlish；　I　bee　engaged　to　you。　Directly　afterwards　you　hear　Nutty　consoling　me　as　if　I　were　marrying　you　against　my　will。　Isn't　that　an　absolutely　fair　statement　of　what　has　happened？　How　could　you　go　on　believing　me　with　all　that　against　you？'
　'I　know　you're　straight。　You　couldn't　do　anything　crooked。'
　'The　evidence　proves　that　I　did。'
　'I　don't　care。'
　'Not　now。'
　'Never。'
　She　shook　her　head。
　'It's　dear　of　you；　Bill；　but　you're　promising　an　impossibility。　And　just　because　it's　impossible；　and　because　I　love　you　too　much　to　face　what　would　be　bound　to　happen；　I'm　going　to　send　you　away。'
　'Send　me　away！'
　'Yes。　It's　going　to　hurt。　You　don't　know　how　it's　going　to　hurt；　Bill；　but　it's　the　only　thing　to　do。　I　love　you　too　much　to　live　with　you　for　the　rest　of　my　life　wondering　all　the　time　whether　you　still　believed　or　whether　the　weight　of　the　evidence　had　crushed　out　that　tiny　little　spark　of　intuition　which　is　all　that　makes　you　believe　me　now。　You　could　never　know　the　truth　for　certain；　you　seethat's　the　horror　of　it；　and　sometimes　you　would　be　able　to　make　yourself　believe；　but　more　often；　in　spite　of　all　you　could　do；　you　would　doubt。　It　would　poison　both　our　lives。　Little　things　would　happen；　insignificant　in　themselves；　which　would　bee　tremendously　important　just　because　they　added　a　little　bit　more　to　the　doubt　which　you　would　never　be　able　to　get　rid　of。
　'When　we　had　quarrelswhich　we　should；　as　we　are　both　humanthey　wouldn't　be　over　and　done　with　in　an　hour。　They　would　stick　in　your　mind　and　rankle；　because；　you　see；　they　might　be　proofs　that