the governess-第14部分

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　but　rather　commended　my　ingenuity。　　And　I　thought　myself　so　wise；　that　I　could　thus　get　off　the　blame　from　myself；　that　I　every　day　improved　in　new　inventions　to　save　myself；　and　have　others　punished　in　my　place。

'This　life　of　endeavouring　to　deceive　I　led　till　I　came　to　school。　　But　here　I　found　that　I　could　not　so　well　carry　on　my　little　schemes；　for　I　was　found　out　and　punished　for　my　own　faults；　and　this　created　in　me　a　hatred　to　my　companions。　　For　whatever　Miss　I　had　a　mind　to　serve　as　I　used　to　serve　our　foot…boy；　in　laying　the　blame　falsely　upon　her；　if　she　could　justify　herself；　and　prove　me　in　the　wrong；　I　was　very　angry　with　her；　for　daring　to　contradict　me；　and　not　submitting　as　quietly　to　be　punished　wrongfully；　as　the　foot…boy　was　forced　to　do。

'This　is　all　I　know　of　my　life　hitherto。'



Thus　ended　Miss　Lucy　Sly：　　and　Miss　Jenny　Peace　commended　Miss　Lucy　for　her　free　confession　of　her　faults；　and　said；　'She　doubted　not　but　she　would　find　the　advantage　of　amending；　and　endeavouring　to　change　a　disposition　so　very　pernicious　to　her　own　peace　and　quiet；　as　well　as　to　that　of　all　her　friends；'　but　they　now　obeyed　the　summons　of　the　supper…bell；　and　soon　after　retired　to　rest。



THURSDAY。　THE　FOURTH　DAY。

Our　little　company；　as　soon　as　the　morning　school…hours　were　over；　hastened　to　their　arbour；　and　were　attentive　to　what　Miss　Jenny　Peace　should　propose　to　them　for　their　amusement　till　dinner…time；　when　Miss　Jenny；　looking　round　upon　them；　said；　'that　she　had　not　at　present　any　story　to　read；　but　that　she　hoped；　from　Miss　Dolly　Friendly's　example　yesterday；　some　of　the　rest　might　endeavour　sometimes　to　furnish　out　the　entertainment　of　the　day。'　　Upon　which　Miss　Sukey　Jennett　said；　'that　though　she　could　not　promise　them　such　an　agreeable　story　as　Miss　Dolly's；　yet　she　would　read　them　a　letter　she　had　received　the　evening　before　from　her　Cousin　Peggy　Smith；　who　lived　at　York；　in　which　there　was　a　story　that　she　thought　very　strange　and　remarkable。　　They　were　all　very　desirous　of　it；　when　Miss　Sukey　read　as　follows：


'Dear　cousin；I　promised；　you　know；　to　write　to　you　when　I　had　anything　to　tell　you；　　and　as　I　think　the　following　story　very　extraordinary；　I　was　willing　to　keep　my　word。

'Some　time　ago　there　came　to　settle　in　this　city；　a　lady；　whose　name　was　Dison。　　We　all　visited　her：　　but　she　had　so　deep　a　melancholy；　arising；　as　it　appeared；　from　a　settled　state　of　ill　health；　that　nothing　we　could　do　could　afford　her　the　least　relief；　or　make　her　cheerful。　　In　this　condition　she　languished　amongst　us　five　years；　still　continuing　to　grow　worse　and　worse。

'We　all　grieved　at　her　fate。　　Her　flesh　was　withered　away；　her　appetite　decayed　by　degrees；　till　all　food　became　nauseous　to　her　sight；　her　strength　failed　her；　her　feet　could　not　support　her　tottering　body；　lean　and　worn　away　as　it　was；　and　we　hourly　expected　her　death。　　When；　at　last；　she　one　day　called　her　most　intimate　friends　to　her　bedside；　and；　as　well　as　she　could；　spoke　to　the　following　purpose：　　'I　know　you　all　pity　me；　but；　alas！　I　am　not　so　much　the　object　of　your　pity；　as　your　contempt；　for　all　my　misery　is　of　my　own　seeking；　and　owing　to　the　wickedness　of　my　own　mind。　　I　had　two　sisters；　with　whom　I　was　bred　up；　and　I　have　all　my　lifetime　been　unhappy；　for　no　other　cause　but　for　their　success　in　the　world。　　When　we　were　young；　I　could　neither　eat　nor　sleep　in　peace；　when　they　had　either　praise　or　pleasure。　　When　we　grew　up　to　be　women；　they　were　both　soon　married　much　to　their　advantage　and　satisfaction。　　This　galled　me　to　the　heart；　and；　though　I　had　several　good　offers；　yet　as　I　did　not　think　them　in　all　respects　equal　to　my　sisters；　I　would　not　accept　them；　and　yet　was　inwardly　vexed　to　refuse　them；　for　fear　I　would　get　no　better。　　I　generally　deliberated　so　long　that　I　lost　my　lovers；　and　then　I　pined　for　that　loss。　　I　never　wanted　for　anything；　and　was　in　a　situation　in　which　I　might　have　been　happy；　if　I　pleased。　　My　sisters　loved　me　very　well；　for　I　concealed　as　much　as　possible　from　them　my　odious　envy；　and　yet　never　did　any　poor　wretch　lead　so　miserable　a　life　as　I　have　done；　for　every　blessing　they　enjoyed　was　as　so　many　daggers　to　my　heart。　　'Tis　this　envy　that　has　caused　all　my　ill　health；　has　preyed　upon　my　very　vitals；　and　will　now　bring　me　to　my　Grave。〃

'In　a　few　days　after　this　confession　she　died；　and　her　words　and　death　made　such　a　strong　impression　on　my　mind；　that　I　could　not　help　sending　you　this　relation；　and　begging　you；　my　dear　Sukey；　to　remember　how　careful　we　ought　to　be　to　curb　in　our　minds　the　very　first　risings　of　a　passion　so　detestable；　and　so　fatal；　as　this　proved　to　poor　Mrs。　Dison。　　I　know　I　have　no　particular　reason　for　giving　you　this　caution；　for　I　never　saw　anything　in　you；　but　what　deserved　the　love　and　esteem　of

'Your　very　affectionate　cousin；　'M。　SMITH。'


As　soon　as　Miss　Sukey　had　finished　her　letter；　Miss　Patty　Lockit　rose　up；　and；　flying　to　Miss　Jenny　Peace；　embraced　her；　and　said；　'What　thanks　can　I　give　you；　my　dear　friend；　for　having　put　me　into　a　way　of　examining　my　heart；　and　reflecting　on　my　own　actions；　by　which　you　have　saved　me；　perhaps；　from　a　life　as　miserable　as　that　of　the　poor　woman　in　Miss　Sukey's　letter！'　　Miss　Jenny　did　not　thoroughly　understand　her　meaning；　but　imagining　it　might　be　something　relating　to　her　past　life；　desired　her　to　explain　herself；　which　she　said　she　would　do；　telling　now；　in　her　turn；　all　that　had　hitherto　happened　to　her。


THE　DESCRIPTION　OF　MISS　PATTY　LOCKIT。

Miss　Patty　Lockit　was　but　ten　years　old；　tall；　inclined　to　fat。　　Her　neck　was　short；　and　she　was　not　in　the　least　genteel。　　Her　face　was　very　handsome；　for　all　her　features　were　extremely　good。　　She　had　large　blue　eyes；　was　exceeding　fair；　and　had　a　great　bloom　on　her　cheeks。　　Her　hair　was　the　very　first　degree　of　light　brown；　was　bright　and　shining；　and　hung　in　ringlets　half　way　down　her　back。　　Her　mouth　was　rather　too　large；　but　she　had　such　fine　teeth；　and　looked　so　agreeably　when　she　smiled；　that　you　was　not　sensible　of　any　fault　in　it。

This　was　the　person　of　Miss　Patty　Lockit；　who　was　slow　to　relate　her　past　life；　which　she　did；　in　the　following　manner：


THE　LIFE　OF　MISS　PATTY　LOCKIT。

I　lived；　till　I　was　six　years　old；　in　a　very　large　family；　for　I　had　four　sisters；　all　older　than　myself；　and　three　brothers。　　We　played　together；　and　passed　our　time　much　in　the　common　way：　　sometimes　we　quarrelled；　and　sometimes　agreed；　just　as　accident　would　have　it。　　Our　parents　had　no　partiality　to　any　of　us；　so　we　had　no　cause　to　envy　one　another　on　that　account；　and　we　lived　tolerably　well　together。

'When　I　was　six　years　old；　my　grandmother　by　my　father's　side　（and　who　was　also　my　godmother）　offering　to　take　me　to　live　with　her；　and　promising　to　look　upon　me　as　her　own　child；　and　entirely　to　provide　for　me；　my　father　and　mother；　as　they　had　a　large　family；　very　readily　accepted　her　offer；　and　sent　me　directly　to　her　house。

'About　half　a　year　before　this；　she　had　taken　another　goddaughter；　the　only　child　of　my　Aunt　Bradly；　who　was　lately　dead；　and　whose　husband　was　gone　to　the　West　Indies。　　My　cousin；　Molly　Bradly；　was　four　years　older　than　I；　and　her　mother　had　taken　such　pains　in　her　education；　that　the　understood　more　than　most　girls　of　her　age；　and　had　so　much　liveliness；　good　humour；　and　ingenuity；　that　everybody　was　fond　of　her；　and　wherever　we　went　together；　all　the　notice　was　taken　of　my　cousin；　and　I　was　very　little　regarded。

'Though　I　had　all　my　life　before　lived　in　a　family　where　every　one　in　it　was　older；　and　knew　more　than　myself；　yet　I　was　very　easy；　for　we　were　generally　together　in　the　nursery；　and　nobody　took　much　notice　of　us；　whether　we　knew　anything；　or　whether　we　did　not。　　But　now；　as　I　lived　in　the　house　with　only　one　companion；　who　was　so　much　more　admired　than　myself；　the　comparison　began　to　vex　me；　and　I　found　a　strong　hatred　and　aversion　for　my　cousin　arising　in　my　mind；　and　yet；　I　verily　believe　I　should　have　got　the　better　of　it；　and　been　willing　to　have　learnt　of　my　cousin；　and　should　have　loved　her　for　teaching　me；　if　any　one　had　told　me　it　was　right；　and　if　it　had　not　been　that　Betty；　the　maid　who　took　care　of　us；　used　to　be　for　ever　teasing　me　about　the　preference　that　was　shown　to　my　cousin；　and　the　neglect　I　always　met　with。　　She　used　to　tell　me；　that　she　wondered　how　I　could　bear　to　see　Miss　Molly　so　caressed；　and　that　it　was　want　of　spirit　not　to　think　myself　as　good　as　she　was；　and；　if　she　was　in　my　place；　she　would　not　submit　to　be　taught　by　a　child；　for　my　Cousin　Molly　frequently　offered　to　instruct　me　in　anything　she　knew；　but　I　used　to　say　（as　Betty　had　taught　me）　that　I　would　not　learn　of　her；　for　she　was　but　a　child；　though　she　was　a　little　older；　and　that　I　was　not　put　under　her　care；　but　that　of　my　grandmamma。　　But　she；　poor　woman；　was　so　old　and　unhealthy；　that　she　never　troubled　her　head　much　about　us；　but　only　to　take　care　that　we　wanted　for　nothing。　　I　lived　in　this　manner　three　years；　fretting　and　vexing　myself　that　I　did　not　know　so　much；　nor　was　not　so　much　liked；　as　my　Cousin　Molly；　and　yet　resolving　not　to　learn　anything　she　could　teach　me；　when　my　grandmamma　was　advised　to　send　me　to　school；　but；　as　soon　as　I　came　here；