henry ossian flipper-第19部分

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　been　known　to　himcome　to　my　tent　to　borrow　ink　of　me。　I　readily　complied　with　his　request；　feeling　proud　of　what　I　thought　was　the　beginning　of　a　new　era　in　my　cadet　life。　I　felt　he　would　surely　prove　himself　manly　enough；　after　thus　recognizing　me；　to　keep　it　up；　and　thus　bring　others　under　his　influence　to　the　same　cause。　And　I　was　still　further　assured　in　this　when　I　observed　he　made　his　visits　frequent　and　open。　At　length；　sure　of　my　willingness　to　oblige　him；　he　came　to　me；　and；　after　expressing　a　desire　to　〃bone　up〃　a　part　of　the　fourth…　class　course；　and　the　need　he　felt　for　such　〃boning；〃　begged　me　to　lend　him　my　algebra。　I　of　course　readily　consented；　gave　him　my　key；　and　sent　him　to　my　trunk　in　the　trunk　rooms　to　get　it。　He　went。　He　got　it；　and　returned　the　key。　He　went　into　ecstasies；　and　made　no　end　of　thanks　to　me　for　my　kindness；　etc。　All　this　naturally　confirmed　my　opinion　and　hope　of　better　recognition　ultimately。　Indeed；　I　was　glad　of　an　opportunity　to　prove　that　I　was　not　unkind　or　ungenerous。　I　supposed　he　would　keep　the　book　till　about　September；　at　which　time　he　would　get　one　of　his　own；　as　every　cadet　at　that　time　was　required　to　procure　a　full　course　of　text…books；　these　being　necessary　for　reference；　etc。；　in　future　life。　And　so　he　did。　Some　time　after　borrowing　the　book；　he　came　to　me　and　asked　for　India　ink。　I　handed　him　a　stick；　or　rather　part　of　one；　and　received　as　usual　his　many　thanks。　Several　days　after　this；　and　at　night；　during　my　absenceI　was；　if　I　remember　aright；　at　Fort　Clinton　making　a　series　of　observations　with　a　zenith　telescope　in　the　observatory　therehe　came　to　the　rear　of　my　tent；　raised　the　wall　near　one　corner；　and　placed　the　ink　on　the　floor；　just　inside　the　wall；　which　he　left　down　as　he　found　it。

I　found　the　ink　there　when　I　returned。　I　was　utterly　disgusted　with　the　man。　The　low；　unmanly　way　in　which　he　acted　was　wholly　without　my　approval。　If　he　was　disposed　to　be　friendly；　why　be　cowardly　about　it？　If　he　must　recognize　me　secretly；　why；　I　would　rather　not　have　such　recognition。　Acting　a　lie　to　his　fellow…　cadets　by　appearing　to　be　inimical　to　me　and　my　interests；　　while　he　pretended　the　reverse　to　me；　proved　him　to　have　a　baseness　of　character　with　which　I　didn't　care　to　identify　myself。

September　came　at　last；　and　my　algebra　was　returned。　The　book　was　the　one　I　had　used　my　first　year　at　the　Academy。　I　had　preserved　it；　as　I　have　all　of　my　books；　for　future　use　and　as　a　sort　of　souvenir　of　my　cadet　life。　It　was　for　that　sole　reason　of　great　value　to　me。　I　enjoined　upon　him　to　take　care　of　the　book；　and　in　nowise　to　injure　it。　My　name　was　on　the　back；　on　the　cover；　and　my　initial；　〃F；〃　in　two　other　places　on　the　cover。　When　the　book　was　returned　he　had　cut　the　calfskin　from　the　cover；　so　as　to　remove　my　name。　The　result　was　a　horrible　disfiguration　of　the　book；　and　a　serious　impairment　of　its　durability。　The　mere　sight　of　the　book　angered　me；　and　I　found　it　difficult　to　retrain　from　manifesting　as　much。　He　undoubtedly　did　it　to　conceal　the　fact　that　the　book　was　borrowed　from　me。　Such　unmanliness；　such　cowardice；　such　baseness　even；　was　most　disgusting；　and　I　felt　very　much　as　if　I　would　like　towell；　I　don't　know　that　I　would。　There　was　no　reason　at　all　for　mutilating　the　book。　If　he　was　not　man　enough　to　use　it　with　my　name　on　it；　why　did　he　borrow　it　and　agree　not　to　injure　it？　On　that　sole　condition　I　lent　it。　Why　did　he　not　borrow　some　one　else's　and　return　mine？

I　have　been　asked；　〃What　is　the　general　feeling　of　the　corps　towards　you？　Is　it　a　kindly　one；　or　is　it　an　unfriendly　one。　Do　they　purposely　ill…treat　you　or　do　they　avoid　you　merely？〃　I　have　found　it　rather　difficult　to　answer　unqualifiedly　such　questions；　and　yet　I　believe；　and　have　always　believed；　that　the　general　feeling　of　the　corps　towards　me　was　a　kindly　one。　This　has　been　manifested　in　multitudes　of　ways；　on　innumerably　occasions；　and　under　the　most　various　circumstances。　And　while　there　are　some　who　treat　me　at　times　in　an　unbecoming　manner；　the　majority　of　the　corps　have　ever　treated　me　as　I　would　desire　to　be　treated。　I　mean；　of　course；　by　this　assertion　that　they　have　treated　me　as　I　expected　and　really　desired　them　to　treat　me；　so　long　as　they　were　prejudiced。　They　have　held　certain　opinions　more　or　less　prejudicial　to　me　and　my　interests；　but　so　long　as　they　have　not　exercised　their　theories　to　my　displeasure　or　discomfort；　or　so　long　as　they　have　〃let　me　severely　alone；〃　I　had　no　just　reason　for　complaint。　Again；　others；　who　have　no　theory　of　their　own；　and　almost　no　manliness；　have　been　accustomed　〃to　pick　quarrels；〃　or　to　endeavor　to　do　so；　to　satisfy　I　don't　know　what；　and　while　they　have　had　no　real　opinions　of　their　own；　they　have　not　respected　those　of　others。　Their　feeling　toward　me　has　been　any　thing　but　one　of　justice；　and　yet　at　times　even　they　have　shown　a　remarkable　tendency　to　recognize　me　as　having　certain　rights　entitled　to　their　respect；　if　not　their　appreciation。

As　I　have　been　practically　isolated　from　the　cadets；　I　have　had　little　or　no　intercourse　with　them。　I　have　therefore　had　but　little　chance　to　know　what　was　really　the　feeling　of　the　corps　as　a　unit　toward　myself。　Judging；　however；　from　such　evidences　as　I　have；　I　am　forced　to　conclude　that　it　is　as　given　above；　viz。；　a　feeling　of　kindness；　restrained　kindness　if　you　please。

Here　are　some　of　the　evidences　which　have　come　under　my　notice。

I　once　heard　a　cadet　make　the　following　unchristian　remark　about　myself　when　a　classmate　had　been　accidentally　hurt　at　light…battery　drill：　〃I　wish　it　had　been　the　nigger；　and　it　had　killed　him。〃　I　couldn't　help　looking　at　him；　and　I　did；　but　that；　and　nothing　more。　Some　time　after　this；　at　cavalry　drill；　we　were　side　by　side；　and　I　had　a　rather　vicious　horse；　one　in　fact　which　I　could　not　manage。　He　gave　a　sudden　jump　unexpectedly　to　me。　I　almost　lost　my　seat　in　the　saddle。　This　cadet　seized　me　by　the　arm；　and　in　a　tone　of　voice　that　was　evidently　kind　and　generous；　said　to　me；　〃For　heaven's　sake　be　careful。　　You'll　be　thrown　and　get　hurt　if　you　don't。〃　How　different　from　that　other　wish　given　above！

Another　evidence；　and　an　important　one；　may　be　given　in　these　words。　It　is　customary　for　the　senior；　or；　as　we　say；　the　first　class；　to　choose；　each　member；　a　horse；　and　ride　him　exclusively　during　the　term。　The　choice　is　usually　made　by　lot；　and　each　man　chooses　according　to　the　number　he　draws。　By　remarkable　good　fortune　I　drew　No。　1；　and　had　therefore　the　first　choice　of　all　the　horses　in　the　stables。

As　soon　as　the　numbers　drawn　were　published；　several　classmates　hastened　to　me　for　the　purpose　of　effecting　an　exchange　of　choice。　It　will　at　once　be　seen　that　any　such　change　would　in　no　manner　benefit　me；　for　if　I　lost　the　first　choice　I　might　also　lose　the　chance　of　selecting　a　good　horse。　With　the　avowed　intention　of　proving　that　I　had　at　least　a　generous　disposition；　and　also　that　I　was　not　disposed　to　consider；　in　my　reciprocal　relations　with　the　cadets；　how　I　had　been；　and　was　even　then　treated　by　them；　I　consented　to　exchange　my　first　choice　for　the　fourteenth。

This　agreement　was　made　with　the　first　that　asked　for　an　exchange。　Several　others　came；　and；　when　informed　of　the　previous　agreement；　of　course　went　their　way。　A　day　or　two　after　this　a　number　of　cadets　were　discussing　the　choice　of　horses；　etc。；　and　reverted　to　the　exchange　which　I　had　made。　One　of　them　suggested　that　if　an　exchange　of　a　choice　higher　than　fourteen　were　suggested　to　me；　I　might　accept　it。

What　an　idea；　he　must　have　had　of　my　character　to　suppose　me　base　enough　to　disregard　an　agreement　I　had　already　made！

However；　all　in　the　crowd　were　not　as　base　as　he　was；　and　one　of　them　was　man　enough　to　say：

〃Oh　no！　that　would　be　imposing　upon　Mr。　Flipper's　good　nature。〃　He　went　on　to　show　how　ungentlemanly　and　unbecoming　in　a　〃cadet　and　gentleman〃　such　an　act　would　be。　The　idea　was　abandoned；　or　at　least　was　never　broached　to　me；　and　if　it　had　been　I　would　never　have　entertained　it。　Such　an　act　on　the　part　of　the　cadet　could　have　arisen　only　from　a　high　sense　of　manly　honor　or　from　a　feeling　of　kindness。

There　are　multitudes　of　little　acts　of　kindness　similar　to　these；　and　even　different　ones。　I　need　notindeed　as　I　do　not　remember　them　all　I　cannot　mention　them　all。　They　all　show；　however；　that　the　cadets　are　not　avowedly　inclined　to　ill…treat　me；　but　rather　to　assist　me　to　make　my　life　under　the　circumstances　as　pleasant　as　can　be。　And　there　may　be　outside　influences；　such　as　relatives　or　friends；　which　bias　their　own　better　judgments　and　keep　them　from　fully　and　openly　recognizing　me。　For　however　hard　either　way　may　be；　it　is　far　easier　to　do　as　friends　wish　than　as　conscience　may　dictate；　when　conscience　and　friends　differ。　　Under　such　conditions　it　would　manifestly　be　unjust　for　me　to　expect　recognition　of　them；　even　though　they　themselves　were　disposed　to　make　it。　I　am　sure　this　is　at　least　a　Christian　view　of　the　case；　and　with　such　view　I　have　ever　kept　aloof　from　the　cadets。　I　have　not　obtruded　myself　upon　them；　nor　in　any　way　attempted　to　force　recognition　from　them。　This　has　proved　itself　to　be　by　far　the　better　way；　and　I　don't　think　it　could　well　be　otherwise。

The　one　principle　w