the legacy of cain-第58部分

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what　had　happened。　To　my　mind；　Mrs。　Tenbruggen's　bosom…friend　is
a　creature　not　fit　to　be　seen　or　heard　when　she　loses　her　temper。
I　only　told　her　to　leave　the　room。　To　my　great　amusement；　she
shook　her　bony　fist　at　me；　and　expressed　a　frantic　wish：　〃Oh；　if
I　was　rich　enough　to　leave　this　wicked　house！〃　I　wonder　whether
there　is　insanity　（as　well　as　poverty）　in　Miss　Jillgall's　family？


Last　night　my　mind　was　in　a　harassed　state。　Philip　was；　as　usual；
the　cause　of　it。

Perhaps　I　acted　indiscreetly　when　I　insisted　on　his　leaving
London；　and　returning　to　this　place。　But　what　else　could　I　have
done？　It　was　not　merely　my　interest；　it　was　an　act　of　downright
necessity；　to　withdraw　him　from　the　influence　of　his　hateful
fatherwhom　I　now　regard　as
　the　one　serious　obstacle　to　my　marriage。　There　is　no　prospect　of
being　rid　of　Mr。　Dunboyne　the　elder　by　his　returning　to　Ireland。
He　is　trying　a　new　remedy　for　his　crippled　handelectricity。　I
wish　it　was　lightning；　to　kill　him！　If　I　had　given　that　wicked
old　man　the　chance；　I　am　firmly　convinced　he　would　not　have　let　a
day　pass　without　doing　his　best　to　depreciate　me　in　his　son's
estimation。　Besides；　there　was　the　risk；　if　I　had　allowed　Philip
to　remain　long　away　from　me；　of　losingno；　while　I　keep　my
beauty　I　cannot　be　in　such　danger　as　thatlet　me　say；　of
permitting　time　and　absence　to　weaken　my　hold　on　him。　However
sullen　and　silent　he　may　be；　when　we　meetand　I　find　him　in　that
condition　far　too　oftenI　can；　sooner　or　later；　recall　him　to
his　brighter　self。　My　eyes　preserve　their　charm；　my　talk　can
still　amuse　him；　and；　better　even　than　that；　I　feel　the　answering
thrill　in　him；　which　tells　me　how　precious　my　kisses　arenot　too
lavishly　bestowed！　But　the　time　when　I　am　obliged　to　leave　him　to
himself　is　the　time　that　I　dread。　How　do　I　know　that　his　thoughts
are　not　wandering　away　to　Eunice？　He　denies　it；　he　declares　that
he　only　went　to　the　farmhouse　to　express　his　regret　for　his　own
thoughtless　conduct；　and　to　offer　her　the　brotherly　regard　due　to
the　sister　of　his　promised　wife。　Can　I　believe　it？　Oh；　what　would
I　not　give　to　be　able　to　believe　it！　How　can　I　feel　sure　that　her
refusal　to　see　him　was　not　a　cunning　device　to　make　him　long　for
another　interview；　and　plan　perhaps　in　private　to　go　back　and　try
again。　Marriage！　Nothing　will　quiet　these　frightful　doubts　of
mine；　nothing　will　reward　me　for　all　that　I　have　suffered；
nothing　will　warm　my　heart　with　the　delightful　sense　of　triumph
over　Eunice；　but　my　marriage　to　Philip。　And　what　does　he　say；
when　I　urge　it　on　him？yes；　I　have　fallen　as　low　as　that；　in　the
despair　which　sometimes　possesses　me。　He　has　his　answer；　always
the　same；　and　always　ready：　〃How　are　we　to　live？　where　is　the
money？〃　The　maddening　part　of　it　is　that　I　cannot　accuse　him　of
raising　objections　that　don't　exist。　We　are　poorer　than　ever
here；　since　my　father's　illnessand　Philip's　allowance　is　barely
enough　to　suffice　him　as　a　single　man。　Oh；　how　I　hate　the　rich！

It　was　useless　to　think　of　going　to　bed。　How　could　I　hope　to
sleep；　with　my　head　throbbing；　and　my　thoughts　in　this　disturbed
state？　I　put　on　my　comfortable　dressing…gown；　and　sat　down　to　try
what　reading　would　do　to　quiet　my　mind。

I　had　borrowed　the　book　from　the　Library；　to　which　I　have　been　a
subscriber　in　secret　for　some　time　past。　It　was　an　old　volume；
full　of　what　we　should　now　call　Gossip；　relating　strange
adventures；　and　scandalous　incidents　in　family　history　which　had
been　concealed　from　public　notice。

One　of　these　last　romances　in　real　life　caught　a　strong　hold　on
my　interest。

It　was　a　strange　case　of　intended　poisoning；　which　had　never　been
carried　out。　A　young　married　lady　of　rank；　whose　name　was
concealed　under　an　initial　letter；　had　suffered　some　unendurable
wrong　（which　was　not　mentioned）　at　the　hands　of　her　husband's
mother。　The　wife　was　described　as　a　woman　of　strong　passions；　who
had　determined　on　a　terrible　revenge　by　taking　the　life　of　her
mother…in…law。　There　were　difficulties　in　the　way　of　her
committing　the　crime　without　an　accomplice　to　help　her；　and　she
decided　on　taking　her　maid；　an　elderly　woman；　into　her
confidence。　The　poison　was　secretly　obtained　by　this　person；　and
the　safest　manner　of　administering　it　was　under　discussion
between　the　mistress　and　the　maid；　when　the　door　of　the　room　was
suddenly　opened。　The　husband；　accompanied　by　his　brother；　rushed
in；　and　charged　his　wife　with　plotting　the　murder　of　his　mother。
The　young　lady　（she　was　only　twenty…three）　must　have　been　a
person　of　extraordinary　courage　and　resolution。　She　saw　at　once
that　her　maid　had　betrayed　her；　and；　with　astonishing　presence　of
mind；　she　turned　on　the　traitress；　and　said　to　her　husband：
〃There　is　the　wretch　who　has　been　trying　to　persuade　me　to　poison
your　mother！〃　As　it　happened；　the　old　lady's　temper　was　violent
and　overbearing；　and　the　maid　had　complained　of　being　ill…treated
by　her；　in　the　hearing　of　the　other　servants。　The　circumstances
made　it　impossible　to　decide　which　of　the　two　was　really　the
guilty　woman。　The　servant　was　sent　away；　and　the　husband　and　wife
separated　soon　afterward；　under　the　excuse　of　incompatibility　of
temper。　Years　passed；　and　the　truth　was　only　discovered　by　the
death…bed　confession　of　the　wife。　A　remarkable　story；　which　has
made　such　an　impression　on　me　that　I　have　written　it　in　my
Journal。　I　am　not　rich　enough　to　buy　the　book。


For　the　last　two　days；　I　have　been　confined　to　my　room　with　a　bad
feverish　coldcaught；　as　I　suppose；　by　sitting　at　an　open　window
reading　my　book　till　nearly　three　o'clock　in　the　morning。　I　sent
a　note　to　Philip；　telling　him　of　my　illness。　On　the　first　day；　he
called　to　inquire　after　me。　On　the　second　day；　no　visit；　and　no
letter。　Here　is　the　third　dayand　no　news　of　him　as　yet。　I　am
better；　but　not　fit　to　go　out。　Let　me　wait　another　hour；　and；　if
that　exertion　of　patience　meets　with　no　reward；　I　shall　send　a
note　to　the　hotel。

No　news　of　Philip。　I　have　sent　to　the　hotel。　The　servant　has　just
returned；　bringing　me　back　my　note。　The　waiter　informed　her　that
Mr。　Dunboyne　had　gone　away　to　London　by　the　morning　train。　No
apology　or　explanation　left　for　me。

_Can_　he　have　deserted　me？　I　am　in　such　a　frenzy　of　doubt　and
rage　that　I　can　hardly　write　that　horrible　question。　Is　it
possibleoh；　I　feel　it　_is_　possible　that　he　has　gone　away　with
Eunice。　Do　I　know　where　to　find　them？　if　I　did　know；　what　could　I
do？　I　feel　as　if　I　could　kill　them　both！

CHAPTER　LIII。

HELENA'S　DIARY　RESUMED。


AFTER　the　heat　of　my　anger　had　cooled；　I　made　two　discoveries。
One　cost　me　a　fee　to　a　messenger；　and　the　other　exposed　me　to　the
insolence　of　a　servant。　I　pay　willingly　in　my　purse　and　my　pride；
when　the　gain　is　peace　of　mind。　Through　my　messenger　I
ascertained　that　Eunice　had　never　left　the　farm。　Through　my　own
inquiries；　answered　by　the　waiter　with　an　impudent　grin；　I　heard
that　Philip　had　left　orders　to　have　his　room　kept　for　him。　What
misery　our　stupid　housemaid　might　have　spared　me；　if　she　had
thought　of　putting　that　question　when　I　sent　her　to　the　hotel！

The　rest　of　the　day　passed　in　vain　speculations　on　Philip's
motive　for　this　sudden　departure。　What　poor　weak　creatures　we
are！　I　persuaded　myself　to　hope　that　anxiety　for　our　marriage　had
urged　him　to　make　an　effort　to　touch　the　heart　of　his　mean
father。　Shall　I　see　him　to…morrow？　And　shall　I　have　reason　to　be
fonder　of　him　than　ever？


We　met　again　to…day　as　usual。　He　has　behaved　infamously。

When　I　asked　what　had　been　his　object　in　going　to　London；　I　was
told　that　it　was　〃a　matter　of　business。〃　He　made　that　idiotic
excuse　as　coolly　as　if　he　really　thought　I　should　believe　it。　I
submitted　in　silence；　rather　than　mar　his　return　to　me　by　the
disaster　of　a　quarrel。　But　this　was　an　unlucky　day。　A　harder
trial　of　my　self…control　was　still　to　come。　Without　the　slightest
appearance　of　shame；　Philip　informed　me　that　he　was　charged　with
a　message　from　Mrs。　Tenbruggen！　She　wanted　some　Irish　lace；　and
would　I　be　so　good　as　to　tell　her　which　was　the　best　shop　at
which　she　could　buy　it？

Was　he　really　in　earnest？　〃You；〃　I　said；　〃who　distrusted　and
detested　heryou　are　on　friendly　terms　with　that　woman？〃

He　remonstrated　with　me。　〃My　dear　Helena；　don't　speak　in　that　way
of　Mrs。　Tenbruggen。　We　have　both　been　mistaken　about　her。　That
good　creature　has　forgiven　the　brutal　manner　in　which　I　spoke　to
her；　when　she　was　in　attendance　on　my　father。　She　was　the　first
to　propose　that　we　should　shake　hands　and　forget　it。　My　darling；
don't　let　all　the　good　feeling　be　on　one　side。　You　have　no　idea
how　kindly　she　speaks　of　you；　and　how　anxious　she　is　to　help　us
to　be　married。　Come！　come！　meet　her　half…way。　Write　down　the　name
of　the　shop　on　my　card；　and　I　will　take　it　back　to　her。〃

Sheer　amazement　kept　me　silent：　I　let　him　go　on。　He　was　a　mere
child　in　the　hands　of　Mrs。　Tenbruggen：　she　had　only　to　determine
to　make　a　fool　of　him；　and　she　could　do　it。

But　why　did　she
　do　it？　What　advantage　had　she　to　gain　by　insinuating　herself　in
this　way　into　his　good　opinion；　evidently　with　the　intention　of
urging　him　to　reconcile　us　to　each　other？　How　could　we　two　poor
young　people　be　of　the　smalle