the price she paid-第4部分

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　been　brought　up　as　a　rich　man's　child；　to　be　married　to　a　rich　man；　and　never　to　know　anything　of　the　material　details　of　life　beyond　what　was　necessary　in　managing　servants　after　the　indifferent　fashion　of　the　usual　American　woman　of　the　comfortable　classes。　　She　had　always　had　a　maid；　she　could　not　even　dress　herself　properly　without　the　maid's　assistance。　　Life　without　a　maid　was　inconceivable；　life　without　servants　was　impossible。

She　wandered　through　the　house；　through　the　grounds。　　She　said　to　herself　again　and　again：　　‘‘We　have　got　to　give　up　all　this；　and　be　miserably　poor　with　not　a　servant；　with　less　than　the　tenement　people　have。''　　But　the　words　conveyed　no　meaning　to　her。　She　said　to　herself　again　and　again：　　‘‘I　must　rouse　myself。　　I　must　do　something。　　I　mustmust　must！''　　But　she　did　not　rouse；　because　there　was　nothing　to　rouse。　　So　far　as　practical　life　was　concerned　she　was　as　devoid　of　ideas　as　a　new…born　baby。

There　was　but　the　one　hopemarriage；　a　rich　marriage。　　It　is　the　habit　of　men　who　can　take　care　of　themselves　and　of　women　who　are　securely　well　taken　care　of　to　scorn　the　woman　or　the　helpless…bred　man　who　marries　for　money　or　even　entertains　that　idea。　How　little　imagination　these　scorners　have！　　To　marry　for　a　mere　living；　hardly　better　than　one　could　make　for　oneself；　assuredly　does　show　a　pitiful　lack　of　self…　reliance；　a　melancholy　lack　of　self…respect。　　But　for　men　or　women　all　their　lives　used　to　luxury　and　with　no　ability　whatever　at　earning　moneyfor　such　persons　to　marry　money　in　order　to　save　themselves　from　the　misery　and　shame　that　poverty　means　to　them　is　the　most　natural；　the　most　human　action　conceivable。　　The　man　or　the　woman　who　says　he　or　she　would　not　do　it；　either　is　a　hypocrite　or　is　talking　without　thinking。　You　may　in　honesty　criticize　and　condemn　a　social　system　that　suffers　men　and　women　to　be　so　crudely　and　criminally　miseducated　by　being　given　luxury　they　did　not　earn。　　But　to　condemn　the　victims　of　that　system　for　acting　as　its　logic　compels　is　sheer　folly　or　sheer　phariseeism。

Would　Mildred　Gower　have　married　for　money？　　As　the　weeks　fled；　as　the　bank　account　dwindled；　she　would　have　grasped　eagerly　at　any　rich　man　who　might　have　offered　himselfno　matter　how　repellent　he　might　have　been。　　She　did　not　want　a　bare　living；　she　did　not　want　what　passes　with　the　mass　of　middle…class　people　for　comfort。　　She　wanted　what　she　hadthe　beautiful　and　spacious　house；　the　costly　and　fashionable　clothing；　the　servants；　the　carriages　and　motors；　the　thousand　and　one　comforts；　luxuries；　and　vanities　to　which　she　had　always　been　used。　　In　the　brain　of　a　young　woman　of　poor　or　only　comfortably　off　family　the　thoughts　that　seethed　in　Mildred　Gower's　brain　would　have　been　so　many　indications　of　depravity。　　In　Mildred　Gower's　brain　they　were　the　natural；　the　inevitable；　thoughts。　They　indicated　everything　as　to　her　training；　nothing　as　to　her　character。　　So；　when　she；　thinking　only　of　a　rich　marriage　with　no　matter　whom；　and　contrasting　herself　with　the　fine　women　portrayed　in　the　novels　and　plays；　condemned　herself　as　shameless　and　degraded；　she　did　herself　grave　injustice。

But　no　rich　man；　whether　attractive　or　repulsive；　offered。　　Indeed；　no　man　of　any　kind　offered。　　Instead；　it　was　her　mother　who　married。

A　widower　named　James　Presbury；　elderly；　with　an　income　of　five　to　six　thousand　a　year　from　inherited　wealth；　stumbled　into　Hanging　Rock　to　live；　was　impressed　by　the　style　the　widow　Gower　maintained；　believed　the　rumor　that　her　husband　had　left　her　better　off　than　was　generally　thought；　proposed；　and　was　accepted。　　And　two　years　and　a　month　after　Henry　Gower's　death　his　widow　became　Mrs。　James　Presbury　and　ceased　to　veil　from　her　new　husband　the　truth　as　to　her　affairs。

Mildred　had　thought　that；　than　the　family　quarrels　incident　to　settling　her　father's　estate；　human　nature　could　no　lower　descend。　　She　was　now　to　be　disillusioned。　When　a　young　man　or　a　young　woman　blunders　into　a　poor　marriage　in　trying　to　make　a　rich　one；　he　or　she　is　usually　withheld　from　immediate　and　frank　expression　by　the　timidity　of　youth。　　Not　so　the　elderly　man　or　woman。　　As　we　grow　older；　no　mat…　ter　how　timidly　conventional　we　are　by　nature；　we　become；　through　selfishness　or　through　indifference　to　the　opinion　of　others　or　through　impatience　of　petty　restraint；　more　and　more　outspoken。　　Old　Presbury　discovered　how　he　had　tricked　himself　four　days　after　the　wedding。　　He　and　his　bride　were　at　the　Waldorf　in　New　York；　a…honeymooning。

The　bride　had　never　professed　to　be　rich。　　She　had　simply　continued　in　her　lifelong　way；　had　simply　acted　rich。　　She　well　knew　the　gaudy　delusions　her　admirer　was　entertaining；　and　she　saw　to　it　that　nothing　was　said　or　done　to　disturb　him。　　She　inquired　into　his　affairs；　made　sure　of　the　substantiality　of　the　comparatively　small　income　he　possessed；　decided　to　accept　him　as　her　best　available　chance　to　escape　becoming　a　charge　upon　her　anything　but　eager　and　generous　relatives。　　She　awaited　the　explosion　with　serenity。　She　cared　not　a　flip　for　Presbury；　who　was　a　soft　and　silly　old　fool；　full　of　antiquated　compliments　and　so　drearily　the　inferior　of　Henry　Gower；　physically　and　mentally；　that　even　she　could　appreciate　the　difference；　the　descent。　　She　rather　enjoyed　the　prospect　of　a　combat　with　him；　of　the　end　of　dissimulating　her　contempt。　　She　had　thought　out　and　had　put　in　arsenal　ready　for　use　a　variety　of　sneers；　jeers；　and　insults　that　suggested　themselves　to　her　as　she　listened　and　simpered　and　responded　while　he　was　courting。

Had　the　opportunity　offered　earlier　than　the　fourth　day　she　would　have　seized　it；　but　not　until　that　fourth　morning　was　she　in　just　the　right　mood。　　She　had　eaten　too　much　dinner　the　night　before；　and　had　followed　it　after　two　hours　in　a　stuffy　theater　with　an　indigestible　supper。　　He　liked　the　bedroom　windows　open　at　night；　she　liked　them　closed。　　After　she　fell　into　a　heavy　sleep；　he　slipped　out　of　bed　and　opened　the　windows　wideto　teach　her　by　the　night's　happy　experience　that　she　was　entirely　mistaken　as　to　the　harmfulness　of　fresh　winter　air。　　The　result　was　that　she　awakened　with　a　frightful　cold　and　a　splitting　headache。　　And　as　the　weather　was　about　to　change　she　had　shooting　pains　like　toothache　through　her　toes　the　instant　she　thrust　them　into　her　shoes。　The　elderly　groom；　believing　he　had　a　rich　bride；　was　all　solicitude　and　infuriating　attention。　　She　waited　until　he　had　wrought　her　to　the　proper　pitch　of　fury。　　Then　she　saidin　reply　to　some　remark　of　his：

‘‘Yes；　I　shall　rely　upon　you　entirely。　　I　want　you　to　take　absolute　charge　of　my　affairs。''

The　tears　sprang　to　his　eyes。　　His　weak　old　mouth；　rapidly　falling　to　pieces；　twisted　and　twitched　with　emotion。　　‘‘I'll　try　to　deserve　your　confidence；　darling；''　said　he。　　‘‘I've　had　large　business　experience　in　the　way　of　investing　carefully；　I　mean。　　I　don't　think　your　affairs　will　suffer　in　my　hands。''

‘‘Oh；　I'm　sure　they'll　not　trouble　you；''　said　she　in　a　sweet；　sure　tone　as　the　pains　shot　through　her　feet　and　her　head。　　‘‘You'll　hardly　notice　my　little　mite　in　your　property。''　　She　pretended　to　reflect。　　‘‘Let　me　seethere's　seven　thousand　left；　but　of　course　half　of　that　is　Millie's。''

‘‘It　must　be　very　well　invested；''　said　he。　　‘‘Those　seven　thousand　shares　must　be　of　the　very　best。''

‘‘Shares？''　said　she；　with　a　gentle　little　laugh。　　‘‘I　mean　dollars。''

Presbury　was　about　to　lift　a　cup　of　cafe　au　lait　to　his　lips。　　Instead；　he　turned　it　over　into　the　platter　of　eggs　and　bacon。

‘‘WeMildred　and　I；''　pursued　his　bride；　‘‘were　left　with　only　forty…odd　thousand　between　us。　　Of　course；　we　had　to　live。　　So；　naturally；　there's　very　little　left。''

Presbury　was　shaking　so　violently　that　his　head　and　arms　waggled　like　a　jumping…jack's。　　He　wrapped　his　elegant　white　fingers　about　the　arms　of　his　chair　to　steady　himself。　　In　a　suffocated　voice　he　said：　　‘‘Do　you　mean　to　say　that　you　have　only　seven　thousand　dollars　in　the　world？''

‘‘Only　half　that；''　corrected　she。　　‘‘Oh；　dear；　how　my　head　aches！　　Less　than　half　that；　for　there　are　some　debts。''

She　was　impatient　for　the　explosion；　the　agony　of　her　feet　and　head　needed　outlet　and　relief。　　But　he　disappointed　her。　　That　was　one　of　the　situations　in　which　one　appeals　in　vain　to　the　resources　of　language。　　He　shrank　and　sank　back　in　his　chair；　his　jaw　dropped；　and　he　vented　a　strange；　imbecile　cackling　laugh。　　It　was　not　an　expression　of　philosophic　mirth；　of　sense　of　the　grotesqueness　of　an　anti…climax。　　It　was　not　an　expression　of　any　emotion　whatever。　　It　was　simply　a　signal　from　a　mind　temporarily　dethroned。

‘‘What　are　you　laughing　at？''　she　said　sharply。

His　answer　was　a　repetition　of　the　idiotic　sound。

‘‘What's　the　matter　with　you？''　demanded　she。　‘‘Please　close　your　mouth。''

It　was　a　timely　piece　of　advice；　for　his　upper　and　false　teeth　had　become　partially　dislodged　and　threatened　to　drop　upon　the　shirt…bosom　gayly　showing　　between　the　lapels　of　his　dark…blue　silk　house…coat。　　He　slowly　closed　his　mouth；　moving　his　teeth　back　into　place　with　his　tonguea　gesture　that　made　her　face　twitch　with　rage　and　disgust。

‘‘Seven　thousand　dollars；''　he　mumbled　dazedly。

‘‘I　said　less　than　half　that；''