liber amoris-第5部分

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But　by　her　dove's　eyes　and　serpent…shape；　I　think　she　does　not　hate　me；　by　her　smooth　forehead　and　her　crested　hair；　I　own　I　love　her；　by　her　soft　looks　and　queen…like　grace　（which　men　might　fall　down　and　worship）　I　swear　to　live　and　die　for　her！



A　PROPOSAL　OF　LOVE





（Given　to　her　in　our　early　acquaintance）

〃Oh！　if　I　thought　it　could　be　in　a　woman　（As；　if　it　can；　I　will　presume　in　you）　To　feed　for　aye　her　lamp　and　flames　of　love；　To　keep　her　constancy　in　plight　and　youth；　Outliving　beauties　outward　with　a　mind　That　doth　renew　swifter　than　blood　decays：　Or　that　persuasion　could　but　thus　convince　me；　That　my　integrity　and　truth　to　you　Might　be　confronted　with　the　match　and　weight　Of　such　a　winnowed　purity　in　love　How　were　I　then　uplifted！　　But；　alas；　I　am　as　true　as　truth's　simplicity；　And　simpler　than　the　infancy　of　truth。〃


TROILUS　AND　CRESSIDA。



PART　II




LETTERS　TO　C。　P；　ESQ。





Bees…Inn。


My　good　friend；　Here　I　am　in　Scotland　（and　shall　have　been　here　three　weeks；　next　Monday）　as　I　may　say；　ON　MY　PROBATION。　　This　is　a　lone　inn；　but　on　a　great　scale；　thirty　miles　from　Edinburgh。　　It　is　situated　on　a　rising　ground　（a　mark　for　all　the　winds；　which　blow　here　incessantly）there　is　a　woody　hill　opposite；　with　a　winding　valley　below；　and　the　London　road　stretches　out　on　either　side。　　You　may　guess　which　way　I　oftenest　walk。　　I　have　written　two　letters　to　S。　L。　and　got　one　cold；　prudish　answer；　beginning　SIR；　and　ending　FROM　YOURS　TRULY；　with　BEST　RESPECTS　FROM　HERSELF　AND　RELATIONS。　　I　was　going　to　give　in；　but　have　returned　an　answer；　which　I　think　is　a　touch…stone。　　I　send　it　you　on　the　other　side　to　keep　as　a　curiosity；　in　case　she　kills　me　by　her　exquisite　rejoinder。　　I　am　convinced　from　the　profound　contemplations　I　have　had　on　the　subject　here　and　coming　along；　that　I　am　on　a　wrong　scent。　　We　had　a　famous　parting…scene；　a　complete　quarrel　and　then　a　reconciliation；　in　which　she　did　beguile　me　of　my　tears；　but　the　deuce　a　one　did　she　shed。　　What　do　you　think？　　She　cajoled　me　out　of　my　little　Buonaparte　as　cleverly　as　possible；　in　manner　and　form　following。　　She　was　shy　the　Saturday　and　Sunday　（the　day　of　my　departure）　so　I　got　in　dudgeon；　and　began　to　rip　up　grievances。　　I　asked　her　how　she　came　to　admit　me　to　such　extreme　familiarities；　the　first　week　I　entered　the　house。　　〃If　she　had　no　particular　regard　for　me；　she　must　do　so　（or　more）　with　everyone：　if　she　had　a　liking　to　me　from　the　first；　why　refuse　me　with　scorn　and　wilfulness？〃　　If　you　had　seen　how　she　flounced；　and　looked；　and　went　to　the　door；　saying　〃She　was　obliged　to　me　for　letting　her　know　the　opinion　I　had　always　entertained　of　her〃then　I　said；　〃Sarah！〃　and　she　came　back　and　took　my　hand；　and　fixed　her　eyes　on　the　mantelpiece（she　must　have　been　invoking　her　idol　thenif　I　thought　so；　I　could　devour　her；　the　darlingbut　I　doubt　her）So　I　said　〃There　is　one　thing　that　has　occurred　to　me　sometimes　as　possible；　to　account　for　your　conduct　to　me　at　firstthere　wasn't　a　likeness；　was　there；　to　your　old　friend？〃　She　answered　〃No；　nonebut　there　was　a　likeness！〃　　I　asked；　to　what？　　She　said　〃to　that　little　image！〃　　I　said；　〃Do　you　mean　Buonaparte？〃She　said　〃Yes；　all　but　the　nose。〃〃And　the　figure？〃〃He　was　taller。〃I　could　not　stand　this。　　So　I　got　up　and　took　it；　and　gave　it　her；　and　after　some　reluctance；　she　consented　to　〃keep　it　for　me。〃　　What　will　you　bet　me　that　it　wasn't　all　a　trick？　　I'll　tell　you　why　I　suspect　it；　besides　being　fairly　out　of　my　wits　about　her。　　I　had　told　her　mother　half　an　hour　before；　that　I　should　take　this　image　and　leave　it　at　Mrs。　B。's；　for　that　I　didn't　wish　to　leave　anything　behind　me　that　must　bring　me　back　again。　　Then　up　she　comes　and　starts　a　likeness　to　her　lover：　she　knew　I　should　give　it　her　on　the　spot〃No；　she　would　keep　it　for　me！〃　　So　I　must　come　back　for　it。　　Whether　art　or　nature；　it　is　sublime。　　I　told　her　I　should　write　and　tell　you　so；　and　that　I　parted　from　her；　confiding；　adoring！She　is　beyond　me；　that's　certain。　　Do　go　and　see　her；　and　desire　her　not　to　give　my　present　address　to　a　single　soul；　and　learn　if　the　lodging　is　let；　and　to　whom。　　My　letter　to　her　is　as　follows。　　If　she　shews　the　least　remorse　at　it；　I'll　be　hanged；　though　it　might　move　a　stone；　I　modestly　think。　　（See　before；　Part　I。　first　letter。）

N。B。I　have　begun　a　book　of　our　conversations　（I　mean　mine　and　the　statue's）　which　I　call　LIBER　AMORIS。　　I　was　detained　at　Stamford　and　found　myself　dull；　and　could　hit　upon　no　other　way　of　employing　my　time　so　agreeably。



LETTER　II





Dear　P；　Here；　without　loss　of　time；　in　order　that　I　may　have　your　opinion　upon　it；　is　little　Yes　and　No's　answer　to　my　last。


〃Sir；　I　should　not　have　disregarded　your　injunction　not　to　send　you　any　more　letters　that　might　come　to　you；　had　I　not　promised　the　Gentleman　who　left　the　enclosed　to　forward　it　the　earliest　opportunity；　as　he　said　it　was　of　consequence。　　Mr。　P　called　the　day　after　you　left　town。　　My　mother　and　myself　are　much　obliged　by　your　kind　offer　of　tickets　to　the　play；　but　must　decline　accepting　it。　　My　family　send　their　best　respects；　in　which　they　are　joined　by

Yours；　truly；

S。　L。


The　deuce　a　bit　more　is　there　of　it。　　If　you　can　make　anything　out　of　it　（or　any　body　else）　I'll　be　hanged。　　You　are　to　understand；　this　comes　in　a　frank；　the　second　I　have　received　from　her；　with　a　name　I　can't　make　out；　and　she　won't　tell　me；　though　I　asked　her；　where　she　got　franks；　as　also　whether　the　lodgings　were　let；　to　neither　of　which　a　word　of　answer。　　*　*　*　*　is　the　name　on　the　frank：　see　if　you　can　decypher　it　by　a　Red…book。　　I　suspect　her　grievously　of　being　an　arrant　jilt；　to　say　no　moreyet　I　love　her　dearly。　　Do　you　know　I'm　going　to　write　to　that　sweet　rogue　presently；　having　a　whole　evening　to　myself　in　advance　of　my　work？　　Now　mark；　before　you　set　about　your　exposition　of　the　new　Apocalypse　of　the　new　Calypso；　the　only　thing　to　be　endured　in　the　above　letter　is　the　date。　　It　was　written　the　very　day　after　she　received　mine。　　By　this　she　seems　willing　to　lose　no　time　in　receiving　these　letters　〃of　such　sweet　breath　composed。〃　　If　I　thought　sobut　I　wait　for　your　reply。　　After　all；　what　is　there　in　her　but　a　pretty　figure；　and　that　you　can't　get　a　word　out　of　her？　　Hers　is　the　Fabian　method　of　making　love　and　conquests。　　What　do　you　suppose　she　said　the　night　before　I　left　her？

〃H。　　Could　you　not　come　and　live　with　me　as　a　friend？

〃S。　　I　don't　know：　and　yet　it　would　be　of　no　use　if　I　did；　you　would　always　be　hankering　after　what　could　never　be！〃

I　asked　her　if　she　would　do　so　at　oncethe　very　next　day？　　And　what　do　you　guess　was　her　answer〃Do　you　think　it　would　be　prudent？〃　　As　I　didn't　proceed　to　extremities　on　the　spot；　she　began　to　look　grave；　and　declare　off。　　〃Would　she　live　with　me　in　her　own　houseto　be　with　me　all　day　as　dear　friends；　if　nothing　more；　to　sit　and　read　and　talk　with　me？〃〃She　would　make　no　promises；　but　I　should　find　her　the　same。〃〃Would　she　go　to　the　play　with　me　sometimes；　and　let　it　be　understood　that　I　was　paying　my　addresses　to　her？〃〃She　could　not；　as　a　habither　father　was　rather　strict；　and　would　object。〃Now　what　am　I　to　think　of　all　this？　　Am　I　mad　or　a　fool？　　Answer　me　to　that；　Master　Brook！　　You　are　a　philosopher。



LETTER　III





Dear　Friend；　I　ought　to　have　written　to　you　before；　but　since　I　received　your　letter；　I　have　been　in　a　sort　of　purgatory；　and　what　is　worse；　I　see　no　prospect　of　getting　out　of　it。　　I　would　put　an　end　to　my　torments　at　once；　but　I　am　as　great　a　coward　as　I　have　been　a　dupe。　　Do　you　know　I　have　not　had　a　word　of　answer　from　her　since！　　What　can　be　the　reason？　　Is　she　offended　at　my　letting　you　know　she　wrote　to　me；　or　is　it　some　new　affair？　　I　wrote　to　her　in　the　tenderest；　most　respectful　manner；　poured　my　soul　at　her　feet；　and　this　is　the　return　she　makes　me！　　Can　you　account　for　it；　except　on　the　admission　of　my　worst　doubts　concerning　her？　　Oh　God！　can　I　bear　after　all　to　think　of　her　so；　or　that　I　am　scorned　and　made　a　sport　of　by　the　creature　to　whom　I　had　given　my　whole　heart？　　Thus　has　it　been　with　me　all　my　life；　and　so　will　it　be　to　the　end　of　it！If　you　should　learn　anything；　good　or　bad；　tell　me；　I　conjure　you：　I　can　bear　anything　but　this　cruel　suspense。　　If　I　knew　she　was　a　mere　abandoned　creature；　I　should　try　to　forget　her；　but　till　I　do　know　this；　nothing　can　tear　me　from　her；　I　have　drank　in　poison　from　her　lips　too　longalas！　mine　do　not　poison　again。　　I　sit　and　indulge　my　grief　by　the　hour　together；　my　weakness　grows　upon　me；　and　I　have　no　hope　left；　unless　I　could　lose　my　senses　quite。　　Do　you　know　I　think　I　should　like　this？　　To　forget；　ah！　to　forgetthere　would　be　something　in　thatto　change　to　an　idiot　for　some　few　years；　and　then　to　wake　up　a　poor　wretched　old　man；　to　recollect　my　misery　as　past；　and　die！　　Yet；　oh！　with　her；　only　a　little　while　ago；　I　had　different　hopes；　forfeited　for　nothing　that　I　know　of！　*　*　*　*　*　*　If　you　can　give　me　any　consolation　on　the　subject　of　my　tormentor；　pray　do。　　The　pain　I　suffer　wears　me　out　daily。　　I　write　this　on　the　supposition　that　Mrs。　…　may　still　come　here；　and　that　I　may　be　detained　some　weeks　longer。　　Direct　to　me　at　t