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the fortune hunter(闯世界的人)-第14部分

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glance at him。       As   he   took   Hilda's   hand   he   gave   her   a   look of   intense; 

yearning   melancholy。         He   sighed   deeply。     ‘‘Let   us   go   apart;''   he   said。 

Then he glanced gloomily round and sighed again。 

     They seated themselves on a bench far away from the music and the 

crowds。      He did not speak but repeated his deep sigh。 

     ‘‘Has    it  made    you   worse    to  come;    dear?''  Hilda    asked   anxiously。 

‘‘Are you sick?'' 

     ‘‘Sick?''   he   said   in   a   hollow   voice。 ‘‘My   soul   is   sickdying。   My 

God!     My   God!'' An   impressive   pause。         ‘‘Ah;   child;   you   do   not   know 



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what     suffering    isyou   who    have    lived   only   in  these    simple;   humble 

surroundings。'' 

     Hilda was trembling with apprehension。               ‘‘What is it; Carl?       You can 

tell me。     Let me help you bear it。'' 

     ‘‘No!   no!   I   must   bear   it   alone。 I   must   take   my   dark   shadow   from 

your   young   life。    I   ought   not   to   have   come。  I   should   have   fled。   But 

love makes me a coward。'' 

     ‘‘But I love you; Carl;'' she said gently。 

     ‘‘And I have missed youdreadfully; dreadfully!'' 

     He rolled his eyes wildly。         ‘‘You torture       me!'' he exclaimed; seizing 

her hand in a dead man's clutch。           ‘‘How CAN I speak?'' 

     Hilda's heart seemed to stand still。           She was pale to the lips; and he 

could see; even in the darkness; her eyes grow and startle。 

     ‘‘What is it?'' she murrmured。            ‘‘You know Ican bear anything for 

you。'' 

     ‘‘Not    that   tone;''  he   groaned。     ‘‘Reproach       me!    Revile     me!    Be 

harsh; scornfulbut not those tender accents。'' 

     He    felt   her   hand    become     cold    and   he   saw    terror   in  her   eyes。 

‘‘Forgive me;'' she said humbly。             ‘‘I don't know what to say or do。             I 

you look so strange。         It makes me feel all queer inside。             Won't you tell 

me; please?'' 

     He noted with artistic satisfaction that the band was playing passionate 

love…music   with   sobs   and   sad   ecstasies   of   farewell   embraces   in   it。    He 

kissed her; then drew back。           ‘‘No;'' he groaned。       ‘‘Those lips are not for 

me;   accursed   that   I   am。''   She   was   no   longer   looking   at   him;   but   sat 

gazing   straight   ahead;   her   shoulders   bent   as   if   she   were   crouching   to 

receive a blow。       He began in a low voice; and; as he spoke; it rose or fell 

as   his   words   and   the   distant   music   prompted   him。      ‘‘Mine   has   been   a 

luckless   life;''   he   said。 ‘‘I   have   been   a   football   of   destiny;   kicked   and 

flung    about;   hither   and   yon。    Again   and   again   I   have   thought   in     my 

despair to lay me down and die。             But something has urged me on; on; on。 

And at last I met you。'' 

     He paused and groanedpartly because it was the proper place; partly 



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with   vexation。     Here   was   a   speech   to   thrill;   yet   she   sat   there   inert;   her 

face a stupid blank。       He was not even sure that she had heard。 

     ‘‘Are you listening?'' he asked in a stern aside; a curious mingling of 

the actor and the stage manager。 

     ‘‘II don't know;'' she answered; startling。           ‘‘I feel sosoqueer。       I 

don't seem to be able to pay attention。''            She looked at him timidly and 

her chin quivered。       ‘‘Don't you love me any more?'' 

     ‘‘Love you?       Would that I did not!        But I must onmy time is short。 

How can you say I do not love you when my soul is like a raging fire?'' 

     She shook her head slowly。           ‘‘Your voice don't feel like it;'' she said。 

‘‘What is it?      What are you going to say?'' 

     He   sighed   and   looked   away   from   her   with   an   irritated   expression。 

‘‘Little stupid!'' he mutteredshe didn't appreciate him and he was a fool 

to expect it。     But ‘‘art for art's sake''; and he went on in tones of gentle 

melancholy。       ‘‘I love you; but fate has again caught me up。              I am being 

whirled     away。      I   stretch   out   my    arms    to  youin    vain。    Do     you 

understand?''      It   exasperated   him   for   her   to   be   so   stillwhy   didn't   she 

weep? 

     She shook her head and replied quietly: 

     ‘‘Nowhat is it?      Don't you love me any more?'' 

     ‘‘Love has nothing to do with it;'' he said; as gently as he could in the 

irritating circumstances。        ‘‘My mysterious destiny has'' 

     ‘‘You said that before;'' she interrupted。          ‘‘What is it?     Can't you tell 

me so that I can understand?'' 

     ‘‘You never loved me!'' he cried bitterly。 

     ‘‘You know that isn't so;'' she answered。           ‘‘Won't you tell me; Carl?'' 

     ‘‘A  specter   has   risen   from   my   pastI   must   leave   youI   may   never 

return'' 

     She   gave   a   low;   wailing   cryit   seemed   like   an   echo   of   the   music。 

Then she began to sobnot loudly; but in a subdued; despairing way。                   She 

was    not   conscious     of  her  grief;  but   only   of  his  wordsof     the  dream 

vanished; the hopes shattered。 

     ‘‘Never?'' she said brokenly。 



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     ‘‘Never!'' he replied in a hoarse whisper。 

     Mr。    Feuerstein     looked    down     at  Hilda's   quivering     shoulders     with 

satisfaction。     ‘‘I thought I could make even her feel;'' he said to himself 

complacently。        Then to her in the hoarse undertone:             ‘‘And my heart is 

breaking。'' 

     She straightened and her tears seemed to dry with the flash of her eyes。 

‘‘Don't say thatyou mustn't!''         She blazed out before his astonished eyes; 

a woman electric with disdain and anger。              ‘‘It's false false!    I hate you… 

…hate youyou never caredyou've made a fool of me'' 

     ‘‘Hilda!''    He   felt   at   home   now   and   his   voice   became   pleading   and 

anguished。      ‘‘You; too; desert   me!        Ah;  God;  whenever was   there   man 

so wretched as I?''       He buried his face in his hands。 

     ‘‘Oh;   you   put   it   on   well;''   she   scoffed。 ‘‘But   I   know   what   it   all 

means。'' 

     Mr。 Feuerstein rose wearily。          ‘‘Farewell;'' he said in a broken voice。 

‘‘At least I am glad you will be spared the suffering that is blasting my life。 

Thank God; she did not love me!'' 

     The physical fact of his rising to go struck her courage full in the face。 

     ‘‘Nono;''   she   urged   hurriedly;   ‘‘not   yet   not   just   yetwait   a   few 

minutes more'' 

     ‘‘NoI must gofarewell!''         And he seated himself beside her; put his 

arm around her。 

     She lay still in his arms for a moment; then murmured:                  ‘‘Say it isn't 

so; Carldear!'' 

     ‘‘I would say there is hope; heart's darling;'' he whispered; ‘‘but I have 

no right to blast your young life。         And I may never return。'' 

     She started up; her face glowing。 

     ‘‘Then you WILL return?'' 

     ‘‘It may be that I can;'' he answered。          ‘‘But'' 

     ‘‘Then   I'll   waitgladly。    No   matter   how   long   it   is;   I'll   wait。 Why 

didn't    you   say   at  first;  ‘Hilda;   something     I  can't   tell  you   about   has 

happened。       I must go away。        When I can; I'll come。'         That would have 

been enough; because II love you!'' 



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     ‘‘What have I done to deserve such love as this!'' he exclaimed; and 

for   an   instant he   almost   forgot himself   in   her beauty  and sweetness   and 

sincerity。 

     ‘‘Will it be long?'' she asked after a while。 

     ‘‘I hope not; bride of my soul。         But I can notdare not say。'' 

     ‘‘Wherever you go; and no matter what happens; dear;'' she said softly; 

‘‘you'll always know that I'm loving you; won't you?''                And she looked at 

him with great; luminous; honest eyes。 

     He began to be uncomfortable。              Her    complete trust was producing 

an effect even upon his nature。           The good that evil can never kill out of a 

man was rousing what was very like a sense of shame。                   ‘‘I must go now;'' 

he   said   with   real gentleness   in   his   voice  and   a   look   at her   that   had   real 

longing in it。     H
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