confessions of an english opium-eater-第17部分

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its；　on　the　contrary；　the　mere　animal　spirits　are　uncommonly　raised：　　the　pulse　is　improved：　　the　health　is　better。　　It　is　not　there　that　the　suffering　lies。　　It　has　no　resemblance　to　the　sufferings　caused　by　renouncing　wine。　　It　is　a　state　of　unutterable　irritation　of　stomach　（which　surely　is　not　much　like　dejection）；　accompanied　by　intense　perspirations；　and　feelings　such　as　I　shall　not　attempt　to　describe　without　more　space　at　my　command。

I　shall　now　enter　in　medias　res；　and　shall　anticipate；　from　a　time　when　my　opium　pains　might　be　said　to　be　at　their　acme；　an　account　of　their　palsying　effects　on　the　intellectual　faculties。


My　studies　have　now　been　long　interrupted。　　I　cannot　read　to　myself　with　any　pleasure；　hardly　with　a　moment's　endurance。　　Yet　I　read　aloud　sometimes　for　the　pleasure　of　others；　because　reading　is　an　accomplishment　of　mine；　and；　in　the　slang　use　of　the　word　〃accomplishment〃　as　a　superficial　and　ornamental　attainment；　almost　the　only　one　I　possess；　and　formerly；　if　I　had　any　vanity　at　all　connected　with　any　endowment　or　attainment　of　mine；　it　was　with　this；　for　I　had　observed　that　no　accomplishment　was　so　rare。　Players　are　the　worst　readers　of　all：　reads　vilely；　and　Mrs。　…；　who　is　so　celebrated；　can　read　nothing　well　but　dramatic　compositions：　　Milton　she　cannot　read　sufferably。　　People　in　general　either　read　poetry　without　any　passion　at　all；　or　else　overstep　the　modesty　of　nature；　and　read　not　like　scholars。　　Of　late；　if　I　have　felt　moved　by　anything　it　has　been　by　the　grand　lamentations　of　Samson　Agonistes；　or　the　great　harmonies　of　the　Satanic　speeches　in　Paradise　Regained；　when　read　aloud　by　myself。　　A　young　lady　sometimes　comes　and　drinks　tea　with　us：　　at　her　request　and　M。's；　I　now　and　then　read　W…'s　poems　to　them。　　（W。；　by…the…bye　is　the　only　poet　I　ever　met　who　could　read　his　own　verses：　　often　indeed　he　reads　admirably。）

For　nearly　two　years　I　believe　that　I　read　no　book；　but　one；　and　I　owe　it　to　the　author；　in　discharge　of　a　great　debt　of　gratitude；　to　mention　what　that　was。　　The　sublimer　and　more　passionate　poets　I　still　read；　as　I　have　said；　by　snatches；　and　occasionally。　　But　my　proper　vocation；　as　I　well　know；　was　the　exercise　of　the　analytic　understanding。　　Now；　for　the　most　part　analytic　studies　are　continuous；　and　not　to　be　pursued　by　fits　and　starts；　or　fragmentary　efforts。　　Mathematics；　for　instance；　intellectual　philosophy；　&c；；　were　all　become　insupportable　to　me；　I　shrunk　from　them　with　a　sense　of　powerless　and　infantine　feebleness　that　gave　me　an　anguish　the　greater　from　remembering　the　time　when　I　grappled　with　them　to　my　own　hourly　delight；　and　for　this　further　reason；　because　I　had　devoted　the　labour　of　my　whole　life；　and　had　dedicated　my　intellect；　blossoms　and　fruits；　to　the　slow　and　elaborate　toil　of　constructing　one　single　work；　to　which　I　had　presumed　to　give　the　title　of　an　unfinished　work　of　Spinosa'sviz。；　De　Emendatione　Humani　Intellectus。　　This　was　now　lying　locked　up；　as　by　frost；　like　any　Spanish　bridge　or　aqueduct；　begun　upon　too　great　a　scale　for　the　resources　of　the　architect；　and　instead　of　reviving　me　as　a　monument　of　wishes　at　least；　and　aspirations；　and　a　life　of　labour　dedicated　to　the　exaltation　of　human　nature　in　that　way　in　which　God　had　best　fitted　me　to　promote　so　great　an　object；　it　was　likely　to　stand　a　memorial　to　my　children　of　hopes　defeated；　of　baffled　efforts；　of　materials　uselessly　accumulated；　of　foundations　laid　that　were　never　to　support　a　super…structureof　the　grief　and　the　ruin　of　the　architect。　　In　this　state　of　imbecility　I　had；　for　amusement；　turned　my　attention　to　political　economy；　my　understanding；　which　formerly　had　been　as　active　and　restless　as　a　hyaena；　could　not；　I　suppose　（so　long　as　I　lived　at　all）　sink　into　utter　lethargy；　and　political　economy　offers　this　advantage　to　a　person　in　my　state；　that　though　it　is　eminently　an　organic　science　（no　part；　that　is　to　say；　but　what　acts　on　the　whole　as　the　whole　again　reacts　on　each　part）；　yet　the　several　parts　may　be　detached　and　contemplated　singly。　　Great　as　was　the　prostration　of　my　powers　at　this　time；　yet　I　could　not　forget　my　knowledge；　and　my　understanding　had　been　for　too　many　years　intimate　with　severe　thinkers；　with　logic；　and　the　great　masters　of　knowledge；　not　to　be　aware　of　the　utter　feebleness　of　the　main　herd　of　modern　economists。　　I　had　been　led　in　1811　to　look　into　loads　of　books　and　pamphlets　on　many　branches　of　economy；　and；　at　my　desire；　M。　sometimes　read　to　me　chapters　from　more　recent　works；　or　parts　of　parliamentary　debates。　　I　saw　that　these　were　generally　the　very　dregs　and　rinsings　of　the　human　intellect；　and　that　any　man　of　sound　head；　and　practised　in　wielding　logic　with　a　scholastic　adroitness；　might　take　up　the　whole　academy　of　modern　economists；　and　throttle　them　between　heaven　and　earth　with　his　finger　and　thumb；　or　bray　their　fungus…heads　to　powder　with　a　lady's　fan。　　At　length；　in　1819；　a　friend　in　Edinburgh　sent　me　down　Mr。　Ricardo's　book；　and　recurring　to　my　own　prophetic　anticipation　of　the　advent　of　some　legislator　for　this　science；　I　said；　before　I　had　finished　the　first　chapter；　〃Thou　art　the　man！〃　　Wonder　and　curiosity　were　emotions　that　had　long　been　dead　in　me。　　Yet　I　wondered　once　more：　I　wondered　at　myself　that　I　could　once　again　be　stimulated　to　the　effort　of　reading；　and　much　more　I　wondered　at　the　book。　　Had　this　profound　work　been　really　written　in　England　during　the　nineteenth　century？　　Was　it　possible？　　I　supposed　thinking　｛19｝　had　been　extinct　in　England。　　Could　it　be　that　an　Englishman；　and　he　not　in　academic　bowers；　but　oppressed　by　mercantile　and　senatorial　cares；　had　accomplished　what　all　the　universities　of　Europe　and　a　century　of　thought　had　failed　even　to　advance　by　one　hair's　breadth？　　All　other　writers　had　been　crushed　and　overlaid　by　the　enormous　weight　of　facts　and　documents。　　Mr。　Ricardo　had　deduced　a　priori　from　the　understanding　itself　laws　which　first　gave　a　ray　of　light　into　the　unwieldy　chaos　of　materials；　and　had　constructed　what　had　been　but　a　collection　of　tentative　discussions　into　a　science　of　regular　proportions；　now　first　standing　on　an　eternal　basis。

Thus　did　one　single　work　of　a　profound　understanding　avail　to　give　me　a　pleasure　and　an　activity　which　I　had　not　known　for　years。　　It　roused　me　even　to　write；　or　at　least　to　dictate　what　M。　wrote　for　me。　　It　seemed　to　me　that　some　important　truths　had　escaped　even　〃the　inevitable　eye〃　of　Mr。　Ricardo；　and　as　these　were　for　the　most　part　of　such　a　nature　that　I　could　express　or　illustrate　them　more　briefly　and　elegantly　by　algebraic　symbols　than　in　the　usual　clumsy　and　loitering　diction　of　economists；　the　whole　would　not　have　filled　a　pocket…book；　and　being　so　brief；　with　M。　for　my　amanuensis；　even　at　this　time；　incapable　as　I　was　of　all　general　exertion；　I　drew　up　my　PROLEGOMENA　TO　ALL　FUTURE　SYSTEMS　OF　POLITICAL　ECONOMY。　　I　hope　it　will　not　be　found　redolent　of　opium；　though；　indeed；　to　most　people　the　subject　is　a　sufficient　opiate。

This　exertion；　however；　was　but　a　temporary　flash；　as　the　sequel　showed；　for　I　designed　to　publish　my　work。　　Arrangements　were　made　at　a　provincial　press；　about　eighteen　miles　distant；　for　printing　it。　　An　additional　compositor　was　retained　for　some　days　on　this　account。　　The　work　was　even　twice　advertised；　and　I　was　in　a　manner　pledged　to　the　fulfilment　of　my　intention。　　But　I　had　a　preface　to　write；　and　a　dedication；　which　I　wished　to　make　a　splendid　one；　to　Mr。　Ricardo。　　I　found　myself　quite　unable　to　accomplish　all　this。　The　arrangements　were　countermanded；　the　compositor　dismissed；　and　my　〃Prolegomena〃　rested　peacefully　by　the　side　of　its　elder　and　more　dignified　brother。

I　have　thus　described　and　illustrated　my　intellectual　torpor　in　terms　that　apply　more　or　less　to　every　part　of　the　four　years　during　which　I　was　under　the　Circean　spells　of　opium。　　But　for　misery　and　suffering；　I　might　indeed　be　said　to　have　existed　in　a　dormant　state。　　I　seldom　could　prevail　on　myself　to　write　a　letter；　an　answer　of　a　few　words　to　any　that　I　received　was　the　utmost　that　I　could　accomplish；　and　often　THAT　not　until　the　letter　had　lain　weeks　or　even　months　on　my　writing…table。　　Without　the　aid　of　M。　all　records　of　bills　paid　or　TO　BE　paid　must　have　perished；　and　my　whole　domestic　economy；　whatever　became　of　Political　Economy；　must　have　gone　into　irretrievable　confusion。　　I　shall　not　afterwards　allude　to　this　part　of　the　case。　　It　is　one；　however；　which　the　opium…eater　will　find；　in　the　end；　as　oppressive　and　tormenting　as　any　other；　from　the　sense　of　incapacity　and　feebleness；　from　the　direct　embarrassments　incident　to　the　neglect　or　procrastination　of　each　day's　appropriate　duties；　and　from　the　remorse　which　must　often　exasperate　the　stings　of　these　evils　to　a　reflective　and　conscientious　mind。　　The　opium…eater　loses　none　of　his　moral　sensibilities　or　aspirations。　　He　wishes　and　longs　as　earnestly　as　ever　to　realize　what　he　believes　possible；　and　feels　to　be　exacted　by　duty；　but　his　intellectual　apprehension　of　what　is　possible　infinitely　outruns　his　power；　not　of　execution　only；　but　even　of　power　to　attempt。　　He　lies　under　the　weight　of　incubus　and　nightmare；　he　lies　in　sight　of　all　that　he　would　fain　perform；　just　as　a　man　forcibly　confin