april hopes-第30部分

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sure　now　that　Dan　had　been　jilted；　otherwise　he　would　have　put　forth　some
objection　to　a　scheme　which　must　interrupt　his　lovemaking。　　〃There's　no
reason　why；　with　our　resources；　we　shouldn't　take　the　lead　in　this
business。〃

He　went　on　to　speak　more　fully　of　his　plans；　and　Dan　listened　with　a
nether　reference　of　it　all　to　Alice；　but　still　with　a　surface
intelligence　on　which　nothing　was　lost。

〃Are　you　going　home　with　me　to…morrow？〃　asked　his　father　as　they　rose
from　the　table。

〃Well；　perhaps　not　to…morrow。　　I've　got　some　of　my　things　to　put　together
in　Cambridge　yet；　and　perhaps　I'd　better　look　after　them。　　But　I've　a
notion　I'd　better　spend　the　winter　at　home；　and　get　an　idea　of　the
manufacture　before　I　go　abroad。　　I　might　sail　in　January；　they　say　it's　a
good　month。〃

〃Yes；　there's　sense　in　that；〃　said　his　father。

〃And　perhaps　I　won't　break　up　in　Cambridge　till　I've　been　to　New　York　and
Philadelphia。　　What　do　you　think？　　It's　easier　striking　them　from　here。〃

〃I　don't　know　but　you're　right；〃　said　his　father　easily。

They　had　come　out　of　the　dining…room；　and　Dan　stopped　to　get　some
cigarettes　in　the　office。　　He　looked　mechanically　at　the　theatre　bills
over　the　cigar　case。　　〃I　see　Irving's　at　the　'Boston。'〃

〃Oh；　you　don't　say！〃　said　his　father。　　〃Let's　go　and　see　him。〃

〃If　you　wish　it；　sir；〃　said　Dan；　with　pensive　acquiescence。　　All　the
Maverings　were　fond　of　the　theatre；　and　made　any　mood　the　occasion　or　the
pretext　of　going　to　the　play。　　If　they　were　sad；　they　went；　if　they　were
gay；　they　went。　　As　long　as　Dan's　mother　could　get　out…of…doors　she　used
to　have　herself　carried　to　a　box　in　the　theatre　whenever　she　was　in　town；
now　that　she　no　longer　left　her　room；　she　had　a　dominant　passion　for
hearing　about　actors　and　acting；　it　was　almost　a　work　of　piety　in　her
husband　and　children　to　see　them　and　report　to　her。

His　father　left　him　the　next　afternoon；　and　Dan；　who　had　spent　the　day
with　him　looking　into　business　for　the　first　time；　with　a　running
accompaniment　of　Alice　in　all　the　details；　remained　to　uninterrupted
misery。　　He　spent　the　evening　in　his　room；　too　wretched　even　for　the
theatre。　　It　is　true　that　he　tried　to　find　Boardman；　but　Boardman　was
again　off　on　some　newspaper　duty；　and　after　trying　at　several　houses　in
the　hope；　which　he　knew　was　vain；　of　finding　any　one　in　town　yet；　he　shut
himself　up　with　his　thoughts。　　They　did　not　differ　from　the　thoughts　of
the　night　before；　and　the　night　before　that；　but　they　were　calmer；　and
they　portended　more　distinctly　a　life　of　self…abnegation　and　solitude
from　that　time　forth。　　He　tested　his　feelings；　and　found　that　it　was　not
hurt　vanity　that　he　was　suffering　from：　it　was　really　wounded　affection。
He　did　not　resent　Alice's　cruelty；　he　wished　that　she　might　be　happy；　he
could　endure　to　see　her　happy。

He　wrote　a　letter　to　the　married　one　of　the　two　ladies　he　had　spent　the
day　with　in　Portland；　and　thanked　them　for　making　pass　pleasantly　a　day
which　he　would　not　otherwise　have　known　how　to　get　through。　　He　let　a
soft；　mysterious　melancholy　pervade　his　letter；　he　hinted　darkly　at
trouble　and　sorrow　of　which　he　could　not　definitely　speak。　　He　had　the
good　sense　to　tear　his　letter　up　when　he　had　finished　it；　and　to　send　a
short；　sprightly　note　instead；　saying　that　if　Mrs。　Frobisher　and　her
sister　came　to　Boston　at　the　end　of　the　month；　as　they　had　spoken　of
doing；　they　must　be　sure　to　let　him　know。　　Upon　the　impulse　given　him　by
this　letter　he　went　more　cheerfully　to　bed；　and　fell　instantly　asleep。

During　the　next　three　weeks　he　bent　himself　faithfully　to　the　schemes
of　work　his　father　had　outlined　for　him。　　He　visited　New　York　and
Philadelphia；　and　looked　into　the　business　and　the　processes　there；　and
he　returned　to　Ponkwasset　Falls　to　report　and　compare　his　facts
intelligently　with　those　which　he　now　examined　in　his　father's
manufactory　for　the　first　time。　　He　began　to　understand　how　his　father；
who　was　a　man　of　intellectual　and　artistic　interests；　should　be　fond　of
the　work。

He　spent　a　good　deal　of　time　with　his　mother；　and　read　to　her；　and　got
upon　better　terms　with　her　than　they　usually　were。　　They　were　very　much
alike；　and　she　objected　to　him　that　he　was　too　light　and　frivolous。　　He
sat　with　his　sisters；　and　took　an　interest　in　their　pursuits。　　He　drove
them　about　with　his　father's　sorrels；　and　resumed　something　of　the　old
relations　with　them　which　the　selfish　years　of　his　college　life　had
broken　off。　　As　yet　he　could　not　speak　of　Campobello　or　of　what　had
happened　there；　and　his　mother　and　sisters；　whatever　they　thought；　made
no　more　allusion　to　it　than　his　father　had　done。

They　mercifully　took　it　for　granted　that　matters　must　have　gone　wrong
there；　or　else　he　would　speak　about　them；　for　there　had　been　some　gay
banter　among　them　concerning　the　objects　of　his　expedition　before　he　left
home。　　They　had　heard　of　the　heroine　of　his　Class　Day；　and　they　had　their
doubts　of　her；　such　as　girls　have　of　their　brothers'　heroines。　　They　were
not　inconsolably　sorry　to　have　her　prove　unkind；　and　their　mother　found
in　the　probable　event　another　proof　of　their　father's　total　want　of
discernment　where　women　were　concerned；　for　the　elder　Mavering　had　come
home　from　Class　Day　about　as　much　smitten　with　this　mysterious　Miss
Pasmer　as　Dan　was。　　She　talked　it　over　indignantly　with　her　daughters；
they　were　glad　of　Dan's　escape；　but　they　were　incensed　with　the　girl　who
could　let　him　escape；　and　they　inculpated　her　in　a　high　degree　of
heartless　flirtation。　　They　knew　how　sweet　Dan　was；　and　they　believed　him
most　sincere　and　good。　　He　had　been　brilliantly　popular　in　college；　and
he　was　as　bright　as　he　could　be。　　What　was　it　she　chose　not　to　like　in
him？　　They　vexed　themselves　with　asking　how　or　in　what　way　she　thought
herself　better。　　They　would　not　have　had　her　love　Dan；　but　they　were　hot
against　her　for　not　loving　him。

They　did　not　question　him；　but　they　tried　in　every　way　to　find　out　how
much　he　was　hurt；　and　they　watched　him　in　every　word　and　look　for　signs
of　change　to　better　or　worse；　with　a　growing　belief　that　he　was　not　very
much　hurt。

It　could　not　be　said　that　in　three　weeks　he　forgot　Alice；　or　had　begun　to
forget　her；　but　he　had　begun　to　reconcile　himself　to　his　fate；　as　people
do　in　their　bereavements　by　death。　　His　consciousness　habituated　itself
to　the　facts　as　something　irretrievable。　　He　no　longer　framed　in　his　mind
situations　in　which　the　past　was　restored。　　He　knew　that　he　should　never
love　again；　but　he　had　moments；　and　more　and　more　of　them；　in　which　he
experienced　that　life　had　objects　besides　love。　　There　were　times　when　he
tingled　with　all　the　anguish　of　the　first　moment　of　his　rejection；　when
he　stopped　in　whatever　he　was　doing；　or　stood　stock…still；　as　a　man　does
when　arrested　by　a　physical　pang；　breathless；　waiting。　　There　were　other
times　when　he　went　about　steeped　in　gloom　so　black　that　all　the　world
darkened　with　it；　and　some　mornings　when　he　woke　he　wished　that　the　night
had　lasted　for　ever；　and　felt　as　if　the　daylight　had　uncovered　his　misery
and　his　shame　to　every　one。　　He　never　knew　when　he　should　have　these
moods；　and　he　thought　he　should　have　them　as　long　as　he　lived。　　He
thought　this　would　be　something　rather　fine。　　He　had　still　other　moods；
in　which　he　saw　an　old　man　with　a　grey　moustache；　like　Colonel　Newcome；
meeting　a　beautiful　white…haired　lady；　the　man　had　never　married；　and　he
had　not　seen　this　lady　for　fifty　years。　　He　bent　over；　and　kissed　her
hand。

〃You　idiot！〃　said　Mavering　to　himself。　　Throughout　he　kept　a　good
appetite。　　In　fact；　after　that　first　morning　in　Portland；　he　had　been
hungry　three　times　a　day　with　perfect　regularity。　　He　lost　the　idea　of
being　sick；　he　had　not　even　a　furred　tongue。　　He　fell　asleep　pretty
early；　and　he　slept　through　the　night　without　a　break。　　He　had　to　laugh　a
great　deal　with　his　mother　and　sisters；　since　he　could　not　very　well　mope
without　expecting　them　to　ask　why；　and　he　did　not　wish　to　say　why。　　But
there　were　some　laughs　which　he　really　enjoyed　with　the　Yankee　foreman　of
the　works；　who　was　a　droll；　after　a　common　American　pattern；　and　said
things　that　were　killingly　funny；　especially　about　women；　of　whom　his
opinions　were　sarcastic。

Dan　Mavering　suffered；　but　not　solidly。　　His　suffering　was　short；　and
crossed　with　many　gleams　of　respite　and　even　joy。　　His　disappointment
made　him　really　unhappy；　but　not　wholly　so；　it　was　a　genuine　sorrow；　but
a　sorrow　to　which　he　began　to　resign　himself　even　in　the　monotony　of
Ponkwasset　Falls；　and　which　admitted　the　thought　of　Mrs。　Frobisher's
sister　by　the　time　business　called　him　to　Boston。




XXIV。

Before　the　end　of　the　first　week　after　Dan　came　back　to　town；　that　which
was　likely　to　happen　whenever　chance　brought　him　and　Alice　together　had
taken　place。

It　was　one　of　the　soft　days　that　fall　in　late　October；　when　the　impending
winter　seems　stayed；　and　the　warm　breath　of　the　land　draws　seaward　and
over　a　thousand　miles　of　Indian　summer。　　The　bloom　came　and　went　in　quick
pulses　over　the　girl's　temples　as　she　sat　with　her　head　thrown　back　in
the　corner　of　the　car；　and　from　moment　to　moment　she　stirred　slightly　as
if　some　stress